Siblings

As far back as i could remember, the 4 of us have always looked out for each other, especially my sister and i, and my 2 brothers close just the same. We don't talk much about our pain, hurt or how we feel, we just knew, and silence, reading, talking about shows, dramas on tv was a better way of pretending you're normal like the rest of the kids, and maybe, just maybe, the hurt will all go away one day.

We grew up, basically each as own individual, none the less, the fights, arguments, calling each other names, throwing stuff, it becomes part and parcel of being siblings in our family or probably many others.

I was always protective of love ones, hoping they'd be fine, praying hard there'd be food, none will ever have to live miserably or without food for the rest of their lives.

Now, we're all in our 30's, my sister married, with 2 lovely kids, my brothers the way they are and have been, i guess. Me, i am getting tired of always picking up after the now 2 grown men. i wish they would grow up, look at the future, think about what they want and have to do, that the most important thing, plan and plan and keep planning, for that is the only thing one can do, ultimate decision u leave it with Upper Management.

They say, u can choose your friends, but not your family..maybe, but sometimes, things that you go through may make you realise, u cant choose both. they come as they are, and no matter how much u want to change either one, a part of you and them haves been established and thus... you live with the fact.

I will not trade my brothers for anything, but at the same time, i dont feel the same as i do back then, lives have changed, experiences has made all of us grown, not apart but opening another chapter of our lives, and still know the past is there in that book.

I will still hope and pray for the best for them, love them as any sister would, be there for them when needed, listen, guide, advice, but no longer want to hold their hands, they now have to hold someone else's hands and lead the way together or lead their own way. Hopefully, one day, they'll realise, some things are far more important than video games, movies, supposedly "let's be merry" friends... and one of the most important factor is FAMILY.